Sunday, June 19, 2011

My First Father's Day Without Dad

Pure happiness :)

First of all, Mom- if you're reading this at work, wait until you get home. Second of all, I just want you all to know that I am not writing this for pity. I don't want anyone to read this and feel sorry for me. I just want you to read it, in hopes that it makes you think. I want you to think about your own dad, whether you're blessed to still have him here with you or not, and just appreciate him. Cherish him and the memories that you have had, or are still making now. Even if it's just for today.

I still cannot believe that Dad is gone. I have been dreading this day for months now. We made it through his birthday better than I thought we would- thanks to the prayers of you all, I know. It always seems better to just not think about things and keep yourself busy. This Father's Day has been a little harder though. I find myself getting disgusted when I see a commercial about Father's Day, or when I hear someone planning Father's Day. I just dread it. I know it's coming, and I can't stop it.

I feel so sad that I won't be giving a gift to Dad this year, as cheesy as it might have been. I kept thinking of something I could do, and finally thought of this. He is probably the biggest Alabama fan I will ever know, so anything Alabama was always been a good gift choice for him. I found this online one day, after the thought had come to mind. I don't know when I will make it to his gravesite to actually place it there, but I hope to soon. I should go today, but don't know if I will or not. Is that bad?... They put his name marker in place last week, and that just made it even more real. It's definitely different to see his actual name and date of birth & death engraved in stone there, rather than just see some freshly planted grass and flowers and nothing personal.
I ordered this, and it came in just a few days after. I think it's perfect for him:

I am very grateful to have all the good memories that I have of my dad. I know so many people who may not have the greatest relationship with their dad or mom, but I did. I can look back and think of nothing but happy times. I would rather have those memories than anything. I would rather have it the way it is, than to have him still here and not have a relationship with him. I know that sounds weird, but I would. I wouldn't take anything for what we had, or the memories I now have. I will never forget our family vacations- they're my favorite and Jonathan's too. :)

I want to thank everyone who is still sending me words of encouragement, and letting me know they're still thinking about me, especially during this time. I am already dreading Thanksgiving, and I don't even want to think about Christmas. Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year, but it looks so sad now. I hope that will all change when it gets closer. I'm already praying for that to happen. I have the best husband, family and friends a girl could ask for, and they're support means the world to me!

On a happier note, there are still several great things about this Father's Day, among them being:
- I am getting to spend it with my sweet husband and his dad, and Zach's Grandma. I am so blessed to have such great in-laws and grandmother-in-law. We are cooking out at our house, and having them over. I always love being a hostess!
-The thing that makes me the most happy about this Father's Day- Dad will get to spend it with his dad- something he hasn't gotten to do since he was 18. Now that makes me happy! :)

"The just man walketh in his integrity; his children are blessed after him." -Proverbs 20:7

Here are some of my favorite pics from our wedding, which are some of the best ones I have of Dad, aside from oldies. These are just some of my favorites of me & Dad. I have so many great ones from when I was little, and hope to scan those in soon.

At rehearsal
About to walk out

Trying to calm the nerves

So sweet

I love, LOVE this one! Makes me smile every time! :)

Give your dad a hug for me today! Love you all!


  1. Hey sweetie,
    Thanks so much for the heads up on reading this at home. You know your Mother very well. :) I just can't tell you how proud I am of you. I have said many prayers for you and Jon in the last few days and so have many other people I have talked to. I just didn't share with you because I know you are my daughter and and for the same reason as you stated. I know your Dad couldn't have been prouder of the way you have turned out.He loved you kids with all his heart. We will get through the next few holidays the same way we've made it through these. Prayers and sticking together as a family just as he would want us to do.
    Love you with all my heart, Mom

  2. You should have given me a heads up on reading your comment... Tearing up at your desk is not a good thing! :)


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