I Have My Daddy's Blue Eyes...

...and I'm so thankful for that. Anytime I look in the mirror, I can see his eyes, pretty & blue. :)

I lost my dad one week ago today. It still seems unreal sometimes. I so badly want it to be. I look around my house and see all the pretty plants and flowers. I don't want these things, I just want my dad back. I want life to go back to normal, although now, we'll unfortunately have a "new normal." I'm already seeing myself being jealous of others that still have their dad, or if I read a Facebook post about someone griping about their "awful" day, I get mad. I'm mad because he will never get to enjoy his grandchildren (in this life anyway). He would have been a wonderful granddaddy. I'm mad because he won't be the Best Man in Jonathan's wedding someday. I'm mad that he never had a piece of my 26th birthday cake. I'm mad that I'm bitter. I shouldn't be this way. I don't want to be this way, but I am.

I am so thankful for all the family, friends, and countless others who have touched our lives in this last week. We have been well-fed every day (we are all eating AND sleeping well, which I am very thankful for), and we haven't had to ask for help with anything. We have had constant encouragement, and been reminded of so many promises God has given us in His word. Even with all this, it's still hard.

I don't like the quiet times. I would rather be busy from the time I wake up in the morning until I go to bed (usually later than normal now). I should just let myself be in the quiet for a while and just sit & remember, but it hurts. I am cherishing the pictures and memories we have of him more than ever. At first, it hurt to look at them, but now it brings a little happiness to me. I hope that everything will be that way eventually. Maybe not soon, maybe not quickly, but eventually.

I want to thank everyone who visited us at the funeral home and attended the funeral. I only looked out into the crowd once, as we walked in, but it made my heart smile to see all the people there. Even with the awful, AWFUL weather, there were still so many there. (I won't go off on a tangent about the weather, but I will say that I hope this snow/ice will go away soon. It's not pretty anymore.)

My Zach has been awesome through all this. I don't think I could have made it through without him by my side. He took care of things at home when I was at home with Mom. My sweet momma is holding up rather well. This is her second time to go through this. That in itself is just not fair. My 90 year-old grandmother (Dad's mother) seems to be stronger than any of us. I hate that I will forever have the memory of her grieving over her son's casket, saying to all of us, "You should never have to bury your own child." Through all of this, we haven't asked God "why," we're just hoping we'll receive the answer. If not in this life, we will know in the next. I don't see how people that do not believe in God have any hope in death. I couldn't imagine not knowing the promise that we have to see him again.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then... I am strong." 2 Cor. 12:9-10. My best friend Jennifer sent me this verse. This past Thursday (the 13th) was the six year anniversary of her mother's death. I hate that we now have this in common, but it's a bond that will make our friendship even stronger. There are so many other friends of mine and people I know that are in this same group. It's not a common ground that you want to share, but it was given to us.

I guess the only thing I will leave you with is to "love each other." If you love someone, tell them. Life is so short- I didn't even realize how short it really is, or how short it can be.

Live it. It's what it's there for. 

New Beginnings!

Happy New Year!! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and an exciting New Year's! Zach & I thoroughly enjoyed our last day of 2010. We spent the day in Chattanooga (our office was closed that day), shopping with our Christmas gift cards (I tore up Ann Taylor LOFT, thanks to Zach's mom!), eating (at Outback, one of our favorites- yum!), and watching a movie (Little Fockers). We made it home fairly early since we left at a decent time, but I didn't make it all the way to ring in the new year. I had curled up with Daisy and a blanket while watching TV, and quickly fell asleep. Zach woke me up about one minute before midnight, just long enough for us to count it down, then after a New Year's kiss (which I still get "giddy" about), I fell asleep again. :)

Just wanted to post a quick picture that I uploaded from Facebook. There is a neat app. that lets you compile photos from your past year in a collage. I picked my favorites, so here they are!

I will make another post sometime soon. We still have Christmas pics to go through. Heck, we still have our Christmas tree up. We were both a little lazy during our time off for New Year's, and we wanted to enjoy it, so I just put up my Christmas decorations, and we left the tree for later.

A lot is going on this week, so it may be after the weekend before my next post. We visited our friends/neighbors, David & Amy, last night for a while. They just welcomed their little girl into the world, so we enjoyed getting to meet her! I held her for the longest, and Zach enjoyed hanging out with David & playing with the two boys. Tonight, we're having dinner with Mom & Dad, then our choir rehearsal starts back. Tomorrow night is our birthday day for me & Papaw Hoyt at my parents' house. This weekend is our church's Christian Women retreat at The Summit here in FP, so I'll be packing for it soon. Then, Sunday is my 26th Birthday!! After that, I have a girls' day planned with some that I graduated from high school with, and in a few more weeks is our Maui trip!!! Things are finally getting back to "normal" mode, so that's good. Christmas time is my most favorite time of year, but it's always nice to get back to the way things were. Lots of fun and exciting things happening around here! :)

And the Award for Best Present Goes To...

...my sweet husband!! :)

Followed by Mom as a close second with my Keurig and Zach's Wii. I was so glad that we actually surprised him this year!

Zach got me an iPhone this year! I have to be honest, I didn't really think I would use it that much. He had mentioned getting me one earlier in the year, but I shot down the idea, thinking A.) that it would be too expensive and B.) that I wouldn't use it near enough to justify the cost. Well, I was wrong. I have been on that thing almost every free minute I have had since I got it! Sad, I know, but it's so much fun!! I haven't even really hooked it up to my iTunes and gone hog-wild yet (which I now can, thanks to my awesome brother Jonathan for the iTunes gift card!)

It is very distracting, especially when it beeps to let me know I have an email or text message. I can always change the settings on that, if I get tired of it. Something tells me I won't for a while though. :) I just wanted to post a few pics that I took with it over the Christmas weekend. I will definitely be posting some others of our white, yes, WHITE, Christmas!! Zach took many with his camera, so their quality will be much better than these. I am impressed with the picture quality of the phone, and the HD video it takes! I have already thoroughly enjoyed the video recorder. Next time you see me, just ask to see the clips I have of Zach playing his new Wii. Very entertaining!! :)

First pic of me & my sweetie with my phone!

This is Daisy & Cosmo asleep on Christmas Eve while Zach was up late playing Wii. I told him they were ready for Santa to come!

My Daisy girl

Daisy in the snow

Cosmo in the snow

Christmas Time Is Here!!

This is my most favorite time of year!! And, for the record, I am DONE with my Christmas shopping! D-O-N-E, DONE!! I finished up on Saturday when Mom, Mamaw, Jonathan and I hit the mall and some other shops. It feels so good to be finished with it. Now, on to the wrapping (my least favorite part)!

Almost forgot to post this: Zach cleaned up the house while I was away shopping on Saturday. I always love to brag on him! When I got home, he had washed and dried ALL the dishes, and started cleaning our guest room. Currently, our guest room is our junk room, but he knocked a big chunk out of the cleaning and organizing on Saturday. As long as it is an "organized mess," it doesn't bother me so badly. Every house has to have a junk/storage room, right?

One of his Christmas gifts arrived at my office this morning, and as I was typing this, a second one of his arrived! I can't wait to give these to him!! I also love receiving things in the mail this time of year! Speaking of, our Christmas cards should arrive at our house either today or tomorrow, so I will have to start addressing them soon. I feel like I'm a little late on them this year, since we have already received so many, but better late than never! I just can't pass up that little tradition. I hope to send a photo card of our little family out every year from now on!

Just wanted to make a quick post about our Children's Choirs Christmas Program last night. It went perfectly!! Each one knew their lines and all the words to the songs. One of the solos even made me cry!! I looked over at Amy (Kinsley) during rehearsal (it was her neice, Jordan Belle, who was singing the solo) and she was crying. So, naturally, I started tearing-up. Amy blamed her pregnancy hormones, but I had no excuse, except for the fact that I'm always a "softie" about things like this. Children are just so precious!! (Notice I didn't say "innocent," just "precious"). :)

I am so thankful to be a part of this wonderful church. I love helping with the kids' choir and I love even more being a part of our adult Sanctuary Choir. I hope everyone can make it to our Christmas concert next Sunday (Dec. 19th), FBCFP, 6:00 PM!

Hopefully my next post will be some pictures of our Christmas decorations. One night this week, I want Zach to take some photos with his camera. Until then, I hope everyone has a great week, and is enjoying the snow!!

Blessed...All Year 'Round (cont.)

This is our little family picture from this year on Thanksgiving Day:

I love this tradition we have of taking pictures at Zach's mom's house. We need to start this at every family gathering we have. I'll post the family pics soon! I only had this one on my computer here at home, because I was going to use it for our Christmas card order (that I'm placing soon...it is now 9:30 PM, so we'll see), but I changed my mind. I wanted one with the two dogs included, so Zach is working on that photo as I type. :)

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, as always, again this year. My days could have been much more enjoyable if I didn't have the cold/sinus problems I have had. I didn't let it get me down on Thursday, but it almost got the best of me on Friday.

We got up on Thursday morning, got ready, and I cooked my green beans for Zach's mom's house. We headed to Chattanooga and enjoyed lunch with them- Zach's mom, Marissa, Ashley, Ella & Bailey. We had a great time visiting. We then headed back home and I began cooking a second round, with more green beans, creamed corn and hashbrown casserole. My family (the whole bunch- Mom, Dad, Jonathan & his girlfriend Amelia, Mamaw Helen, Papaw Hoyt & Mamaw Ruth) came to our house for an early dinner. Yet again, we had too much to eat, but had a great time. We hated to miss Aunt Gail's this year, but we just couldn't make it timewise and because we weren't feeling 100%. I know it wasn't the same there either, without Grandma & without some of the guys. I hope we can make up for it for Christmas!

I woke up at 3:15 on Friday morning. My cold is always worse in the mornings, so it wasn't as easy getting up. I did leave the house early at about 3:55, so I thought I was ok. We did a lot of shopping, but it seemed to me that the deals weren't as great as they were last year. I was glad I went though- I know I would have regretted all year not going. It's only one day out of the year- I can handle it! Later into the morning, I started feeling worse. I think it was the culmination of me being so tired along with the stuffiness in my head. Then came the headache.

When I got home, I crashed. My sweet husband had called me while I was shopping to let me know that he had gotten our tree and wreath, with a little extra added to it for me. Part of me wished I was home so I could have gone with him to enjoy it all, but I would have felt sick either way. I did look at the wreath and tree on my way in when I got home, but went straight to our bedroom & changed into comfy, WARM clothes, and hit the couch.

We had planned on heading straight to Zach's dad's house to watch the Iron Bowl, but I couldn't make it. I wanted Zach to go on. There was no sense in both of us not being able to enjoy the game, and I didn't want him or his dad to watch the game alone. I slept through most of the game. Though now, I'm not so bummed about that. My highlight was when I first woke up from a nap, and saw that the score was 14-0 Bama. That was a wonderful surprise! I went back to sleep and missed a good part of the rest of the first half. I wish I would have slept through most of the second half instead. Oh well!

I will say this...I think it says so much for the state of Alabama as a whole that we could possibly have 2 different teams win the National Championship and have 2 Heisman Trophy winners in 2 consecutive years. That is amazing!

Anyways, after sleeping a good bit on Friday, I finally got a little more done on Saturday.

**Also, let me add- Zach was so cute while I was sick. He kept telling me,"Don't worry about the dishes, babe, I'll take care of them." "I'll clean up the kitchen." He was a sweetie. He did 2 loads of dishes, straightened up the kitchen, and cooked breakfast on Saturday morning. Bless his heart!**

Our beautiful tree was already up and Zach had already put the lights on and ornaments up on Saturday morning. I got up and put out a few of our other decorations, but rested most of the day. Our wreath, as I mentioned earlier, is beautiful this year!! He had the lady at Petal Pushers add holly leaves & berries and pinecones to the wreath, because he knows I don't like a plain wreath. The smell and look of the wreath and the tree are so worth all the work put into getting them to the house and putting them up. I remind myself of this every year!

Sunday was my decorating day. It felt nice to actually get something done. I just hated I couldn't get it all done on Friday like we usually do, but we made it. We stayed home from church (which I hated to do, since it is the First Sunday of Advent & we sang our first Christmas song in the choir), but I got a lot more rest and feel SO much better because of it. I will make a post with some pics of our decorations soon. I absolutely LOVE decorating our house for Christmas. I realize every year that I have bought WAY too much along the way, but I can't make myself get rid of anything. Maybe one day soon when we have our mansion, I will have more room for it all. :)

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Even being sick, I am blessed beyond measure, and have nothing to complain about! God is good!!

Retro

One of my old friends posted some old pictures on Facebook the other day, so I just thought I would share. They are not very flattering, to say the least, but I love how they show the styles back in the day, and they capture our personalities. When I first saw these, I instantly remembered that day.We went to the Tennessee Aquarium that afternoon, and wanted to stop by Desoto State Park (for some reason) on our way back to Fort Payne. We definitely had a diverse group. I don't even really remember one of the girls in the picture, and the guy is Leslie's older brother, Martin. Random group, but we had fun that day. I am so glad that she scanned and posted these little gems. Enjoy (the ugliness)!

Stylin' in my vest. :) 

I cropped this one of myself so you could get a closer look (which very well could be a bad thing). All I can say about this one is: Thank the Lord for highlights, make-up & eyebrow plucking...oh, and growing out bangs! Hehe!

Cute.

I hope you atleast got a good laugh out of these. I hope to post some Thanksgiving pics soon! Zach pulled them up on the computer last night so I could see them, and they're really good!! Can't wait to post them! I'm also planning on him taking some pictures of our Christmas decorations this year, so maybe I can make a post about them soon.

I hope everyone's having a good beginning to the week. I know times are busy right now. They definitely are for us! It seems like every week, there is a rehearsal, a party, something to go to, or somewhere to be. I am actually skipping a party tonight for our Christian Women group. I don't really have an excuse-- I guess it's just laziness. I am going to stop by the store after work, then come home & fix some homemade lasagna for my sweetie instead. :)

Speaking of somwhere to be, say a little prayer for us next Sunday night at about 4:30! We are having our Children's Choirs Christmas Program that night. At rehearsal last night, it seemed like things went really well. ALL the kids knew their lines, and they pretty much have all the words to the songs memorized. It really is a cute little musical, and I can't wait to see it all come together- because it ALWAYS, ALWAYS does!

60th Wedding Anniversary

Today is the 60th Wedding Anniversary of my grandparents, Hoyt & Helen Ashley! 60 years!! I am so thankful to have this example of Christian marriage in my family. I pray that one day, Zach & I can celebrate our 60th Anniversary. Technically, we're coming up on 9 years! :) I just wanted to include a picture of them on my wedding day. I have so many others of them, including one really good one that they just had made for their church's directory, but I would have to scan in all the old ones, so it's just easier to post this one. Happy 60th Anniversary, Mamaw Helen & Papaw Hoyt!!